Age Appropriate Behaviors

From ages 0-4, children will:

Experience an erection or vaginal lubrication
Touch their genitals for self-soothing and may feel pleasure
Talk openly about their bodies, including genitals
Be able to say and understand, when taught, the appropriate names of body parts
Feel comfortable about everything – their bodies, other bodies, bodily functions, etc.
Feel sure of their own gender and have the ability to recognize gender presentation
Begin to recognize traditional gender roles
Ask questions about gender, gender expression, pregnancy and childbirth, and genitals

From ages 5-8, children will:

Recognize the social stigmas and taboos surrounding sexuality
Especially if parents are nervous about the subject, will be less open about asking questions
Understand more complex ideas with regard to sexuality and begin to understand intercourse apart from procreation
Look to peer, media, and other sources for info about sex
Understand gender role stereotypes, if presented as such
May engage in same sex sexual exploration and role playing
Have a stronger self-conception terms of gender, sexuality, and body image
Ask questions about puberty, development, relationships

From ages 9-12, children will:

Have an emerging sense of self as a young adult
Feel conscious of their sexuality and how they choose to express it
Understand jokes with sexual content
Feel concerns about being “normal” such as whether it is normal to masturbate, have wet dreams, etc.
Feel anxious about puberty; when it will happen, how it will occur, how to be prepared, etc.
Feel shy about asking questions of caregivers, especially regarding sexuality, and may act like they already know all the answers
Masturbates, and values privacy
Curiosity in sexual content
Asks questions about sexual health, sexual development, values

From ages 13-17, children will:

Understand that they are sexual and understand the options and consequences of sexual expression
Choose to express their sexuality in ways that may or may not include sexual intercourse
Recognize the components of healthy and unhealthy relationships
Have clear understanding of pregnancy and STIs
Have the ability to make reasoned choices about sex based knowledge
Have the capacity to learn about intimate, loving, long-term relationships
Have an understanding of their own sexual orientation
May have first sexual experience
Curiosity in nudity and sexual content
Asks questions about consequences of risky behavior