Age Appropriate Behaviors
From ages 0-4, children will:
- Experience an erection or vaginal lubrication
- Touch their genitals for self-soothing and may feel pleasure
- Talk openly about their bodies, including genitals
- Be able to say and understand, when taught, the appropriate names of body parts
- Feel comfortable about everything – their bodies, other bodies, bodily functions, etc.
- Feel sure of their own gender and have the ability to recognize gender presentation
- Begin to recognize traditional gender roles
- Ask questions about gender, gender expression, pregnancy and childbirth, and genitals
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From ages 5-8, children will:
- Recognize the social stigmas and taboos surrounding sexuality
- Especially if parents are nervous about the subject, will be less open about asking questions
- Understand more complex ideas with regard to sexuality and begin to understand intercourse apart from procreation
- Look to peer, media, and other sources for info about sex
- Understand gender role stereotypes, if presented as such
- May engage in same sex sexual exploration and role playing
- Have a stronger self-conception terms of gender, sexuality, and body image
- Ask questions about puberty, development, relationships
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From ages 9-12, children will:
- Have an emerging sense of self as a young adult
- Feel conscious of their sexuality and how they choose to express it
- Understand jokes with sexual content
- Feel concerns about being “normal” such as whether it is normal to masturbate, have wet dreams, etc.
- Feel anxious about puberty; when it will happen, how it will occur, how to be prepared, etc.
- Feel shy about asking questions of caregivers, especially regarding sexuality, and may act like they already know all the answers
- Masturbates, and values privacy
- Curiosity in sexual content
- Asks questions about sexual health, sexual development, values
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From ages 13-17, children will:
- Understand that they are sexual and understand the options and consequences of sexual expression
- Choose to express their sexuality in ways that may or may not include sexual intercourse
- Recognize the components of healthy and unhealthy relationships
- Have clear understanding of pregnancy and STIs
- Have the ability to make reasoned choices about sex based knowledge
- Have the capacity to learn about intimate, loving, long-term relationships
- Have an understanding of their own sexual orientation
- May have first sexual experience
- Curiosity in nudity and sexual content
- Asks questions about consequences of risky behavior
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