Alphabet Soup LLC

Coaching & Education

Sex Education

We provide webinars, as well as one-on-one classes to cover various topics of sexuality & relationship education for all ages. Our adult re-education offers skill building alongside the unlearning and relearning. Youth sex education classes provide age appropriate and LGBTQIA+ affirming topics on puberty, anatomy & function, hygiene, sexuality, gender, sexual behaviors, healthy relationships, dating, communication, consent, autonomy, risk assessments, STI treatment & prevention, barriers, contraception, pregnancy options, and more. We’re building a full program for age-appropriate sex education that can be done at home or used in schools!

All information provided is LGBTQIA+ affirming, age appropriate (according to the National Sex Education Standards), consent focused, sex positive, pleasure based, and comprehensive.

Anonymous Question Box
Sex Education Classes Offered by Alphabet Soup

Ghost Nightmare (they/them) has been teaching age appropriate sex education since 2008. They have taught groups of adults, homeschooling families of various ages and stages, and families. They offer sex education by grade level or by topic, with the understanding that questions asked during the class will be answered in age appropriate ways, even if they are off topic. Ghost works with homeschool groups, activity groups, adult support groups, etc. as well as work with caregivers and their own kiddos. 

Early childhood (ages birth – 5)

In these early years it is important to teach consent, basic anatomy with correct language, & bodily autonomy. Ghost works with caregivers to learn alongside these kiddos, as well as learning this information to take back to the kiddos within this age range. We will work together to practice every day consent and bodily autonomy with examples like hugs, high fives, putting on their outerwear, etc.

Early elementary (grades K-2nd & ages 5-8)

In these years, we work together to learn about healthy relationships, gender identity & expression, personal safety, and continue to build on anatomy, consent, and bodily autonomy.. Ghost again works with caregivers to help guide them, as well as working with kiddos and their safe adults to learn together. We will work together to practice our understanding of previous topics, and build on with our new skill as we start to discuss the ways our bodies have changed already, and what we can expect in the early stages of puberty.

Upper elementary (grades 3rd – 5th & ages 8-11)

Upper Elementary is the average age of the start of puberty. In this age group, Ghost continues to work with caregivers and kiddos as a unit, as well as to guide caregivers. We continue to build on the previous skills, digging deeper on the lessons and understanding, adding on puberty, hygiene, and orientation. We begin to discuss the responsibility of taking care of our health.

Middle School (grades 6th – 8th & ages 11-14)

In this age group, we expand the understanding of all previous topics. We begin to explore sexual health further, focusing on taking responsibility for our health and communicating our needs. We work harder to ensure all misinformation is acknowledged and corrected.

Early High School (9th – 10th & ages 14-16)

We continue to dive deeper into each topic, covering every aspect of the topics we’ve covered thus far. Ghost begins working with groups of youth without their caregivers at this stage. We continue to skill build, as well as fill in any gaps

Upper High School (11th – 12th & ages 16-18)

Here we dive the deepest, covering and reinforcing every aspect of sexual and relationship education, new and already covered. Ghost typically works with these teens without their caregivers, allowing space for them to ask private questions they might be embarrassed to ask their caregivers. We can also work together with caregivers and teens, as well as guiding caregivers separately.

Adult (18+)

At adult age, we focus the most on re-education and filling in missed information. Ghost will add kink education at this age too, though the Kink Series is the best place to dive deeper into kink education.

Kink Series (18+)

Stacia Keanne (she/her) aka LadybugFaerie has been a part of the BDSM community since 2008. She has been on staff with the Denver Sanctuary since 2013, volunteers for Rope in the Rockies, co-produces the Right of the Slash Intensive Weekend, and teaches kink and polyamory classes through a variety of venues. She is the 2022 runner up for Rocky Mountain Person of Leather. She has tried very few kinks that she doesn’t enjoy and education is one of her passions. In her three part series, Stacia will cover the fundamentals of kink, from definitions to navigating FetLife to negotiating scenes.

Kink 101 – In this class, Stacia will discuss the ABCs and basics of kink. From ABDL to zippers and everything in between, this class will equip you to begin discussing BDSM and determining where your interests might lie.

FetLife 101 – From the basics of setting up a profile to finding events and potential partners, Stacia will cover the various aspects of joining and using FetLife.com. She will cover some aspects of kink etiquette and teach you how to find the people and places to fulfill your wildest fantasies!

Negotiations – The class will cover the who, what, when, where, why, and how of negotiating BDSM scenes, with a few tips for long-term D/s dynamic negotiations as well.  It will cover inclusive negotiations, use of plain language vs. safewords, and a variety of approaches to negotiating great scenes, including stories of both good and bad negotiations.

Non-Monogamy Series

Stacia Keanne (she/her) aka LadybugFaerie has been practicing some form of consensual non-monogamy since 2004, identifying as polyamorous since 2008. From swinging to open relationships to hierarchical polyamory to relationship anarchy, she has practiced almost every form of non-monogamy. She is a certified relationship coach, specializing in non-monogamy and kink dynamics. In her three part series, Stacia will cover the fundamentals of non-monogamy, from definitions to jealousy management to disentanglement and decoupling.

Non-Monogamy 101 – In this class, Stacia will discuss the ABCs and basics of non-monogamy. From anchor partner to wibble, from swinging to polyamory, and everything in between, this class will equip you to begin discussing non-monogamy and your desires within it.

Jealousy Management – Probably the number one question people get when they tell someone they’re non-monogamous is “don’t you ever get jealous?” Or a statement to the effect of “I could never do that; I’d get too jealous.” Even some folks within the non-monogamous communities seem to stigmatize and judge jealousy and put the concept of compersion on a pedestal. This class will unpack the concepts of jealousy, envy, and FOMO (fear/feeling of missing out) and will explore how to create healthy boundaries around those feelings. This class is taught from a non-hierarchical perspective and is highly autonomy focused.

Disentanglement – It’s been called “the most skipped step when opening a relationship,” but the skills for disentanglement and decoupling are valuable far beyond when you first open a relationship. This class will address how to recognize and reduce codependency in your relationships and prevent weaponizing couple privilege, leading to healthier and happier dynamics… even if you aren’t non-monogamous.

Teen Resources
Caregiver Resources
READY Consent

Consent is mandatory. Always.
Our consent model is the READY model, which works with gauging readiness and consent. READY is a Revocable, Engaged, Aware, Detailed Yes.

R – Revocable
  • Can I revoke my consent? Am I okay with someone else revoking their consent?
  • If there is not safety to change your mind, you can not give consent.
E – Engaged
  • Are all parties engaged in the activity or the negotiations of the activities?
  • Hesitation, doubt, and coercion are not consent.
A – Aware
  • Are we all aware? Is everyone sober? Is everyone awake and alert? Are we aware of our own risk-profiles?
  • Sleeping and any substance use eliminate your ability to give consent.
D – Detailed
  • Did we come to an agreement through negotiations, on the specific details? Were risk-profiles discussed?
  • You have to know the details of what you are consenting to in order to give consent.
Y – Yes
  • Do we each want to say yes? Is there safety to say no?
  • Anything other than a yes, is an automatic no. If there isn’t safety to say no, you cannot consent.

**If the answer to any of the above questions is no, you can not give or get consent.** If there is not safety in saying “no”, consent cannot be given.

Ground Rules

It is expected of every student, guest, volunteer, and the staff of Alphabet Soup to follow these rules whether in person, on a video call or meeting, over the phone, or in an online forums and other social media.

  • Right to Pass
  • Respect Differences
    • It is okay to disagree with another person, so long as it is done respectfully.
  • One Person speaks at a Time
    • If one person is talking, others are listening. Be courteous.
  • Allow Space for Curiosity
    • It is okay if some things we talk about is brand new information.
    • It is okay to ask questions, even if they seem silly. Chances are someone else wants to know the same thing you do.
  • Don’t Squick My Squee / Don’t Yuck My Yum
    • You do not have to be interested in all things discussed here, but you do have to be respectful of others who are interested.
  • Respect Privacy
    • It is important to be open and honest in discussions. There is no requirement to share any personal business/information. It is okay to discuss and share general situations, but please leave out names and other identifying markers. We do not want to “out” anyone for any reason. Things that help with this:
    • Use “I” statements wherever possible
    • Use gender-neutral language
    • Use orientation-neutral language
  • Leave Space for Emotions
    • It is okay to feel whatever you feel. While talking about sensitive topics, various feelings tend to come up for different folx. Leave space for that in each other, as well as in ourselves.
  • No screenshots, recording, etc.
    • The ONLY exception is when we record through Zoom
    • After allowing time for follks to change their names and turn off video
  • Check Your Biases

*** Alphabet Soup LLC reserves the right to delete any and all harmful comments, without warning; in online courses, webinars, workshops, presentations, as well as on all social media platforms.

Values of Sex Education
  • Parents/caregivers are the primary sexuality educators to their child(ren).
  • Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of being human.
  • At every age, children have a right to age-appropriate information about health, sexuality, and relationships.
  • Every person has dignity and worth, and deserve respect.
    • Diversity in gender identity, race, culture, sexual orientation, etc. should be celebrated.
  • It is wrong to use psychological pressure, fear, or physical force to make people do things without their consent.
  • People are responsible for their own behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors.
  • Normalizing EVERYONE’S right and ability to make positive choices about sexuality, sex, and relationships.
    • Regardless of what their peers are doing.
    • Regardless of their gender.
    • Regardless of the gender of their partner(s).
  • Open communication is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships.
  • It is good for young people to be able to talk openly and comfortably about sexuality issues with their parents/caregivers, peers, trusted adults, and romantic partners, sexual partners, and doctors.
  • Relationships should never be coercive or exploitative, but instead should be based on mutual respect.
  • It is normal to have sexual feelings, however feelings should not always be acted upon.
  • Until a person is old enough to act responsibly and protect themselves and their partners, it is healthiest to seek ways other than vaginal, oral, or anal sexual intercourse to express their romantic and sexual feelings.
  • All people have a responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STIs by; abstaining from risky behavior, using effective contraception and barriers, and openly communicating risks.
Glossary

We work to remove outdated vocabulary from our mouths, brains, and community. If you don’t see a term here, it is either not added yet, or has been erased for being problematic. If there is a term you find problematic, AND you are a part of the community, please feel free to email our founder to inform them of the term or definition that is problematic. They will do further work to educate themself, thank you!

Gender Related Terms
  • Agender – Does not identify as having a particular gender
  • Androgyne – An androgynous person
  • Aporagender – A non-binary identity. Umbrella term for a gender outside of the man or woman gender spectrum
  • Assigned Gender at Birth (AGAB) – Often refers to the gender and gender roles assigned to someone at the time of their birth. Mostly outdated term, only used for folks who refer to themselves in this way
  • Bigender – A gender identity of two or double gender
  • Binarism – A collection of harmful thoughts, actions, laws, etc. to promote the gender binary
  • Binary – either/or; black/white, yes/no
  • Binding – Using a compression device to make one’s chest flat
  • Body Dysphoria – The feeling that one’s body does not match their identity
  • Bottom Surgery – Gender affirming surgery on genitalia
  • Cisman – A man who identifies with the gender he was assigned at birth
  • Ciswoman – A woman who identifies with the gender she was assigned at birth
  • Cisgender – Identifying with the gender one was assigned at birth
  • Cisnormativity – The assumption that everyone’s gender matches what they were assigned at birth
  • Cissexism – Prejudice or discrimination against transgender and nonbinary people
  • Closeted – Their identity is private
  • Coming Out – Sharing their identity with others
  • Demigender / Demigirl / Demiboy – Partially identifying with a particular gender
  • Designated Gender – Gender assigned to one at birth
  • Drag King – A woman who dresses and personifies a man for a performance
  • Drag Queen – A man who dresses and personifies a woman for a performance
  • Dyadic – Persons who are not intersex. People who fall on the binary of sex
  • Feminine-presenting – “Traditionally” feminine appearance
  • Femme / Fem – A feminine individual
  • Fluid(ity) – Identifying as two or more genders. Moving between genders
  • Gender Apathy – Not caring about gender, could say things like “call me whatever you want, I don’t care about gender”. Not identifying with or caring about gender
  • Gender Expression – Appearance associated with gender. Could include behaviors, mannerisms, interests
  • Genderfluid – Identifying as two or more genders. Moving between multiple genders
  • Gender Identity – Internal sense of one’s own identity
  • Gender Neutral – Suitable for any gender. Does not follow gender roles
  • Gender Non-Conforming (GNC) – Appearance, behaviors, identity that does not follow traditional gender roles and expectations
  • Gender Normative – Adhering to or reinforcing ideal standards of masculinity and femininity
  • Gender Presentation – How one looks, dresses, acts, etc. The way one presents their gender to the world
  • Gender Affirming Surgery – Surgery that makes one’s body match the way they identify
  • Gender Roles – Expected behaviors and interests based on one’s designated gender
  • Gender Variant – Behavior, interest, expression of an individual that does not match their gender
  • Genderfuck(ery) – Nonbinary term. Commonly used to self-describe androgynous individuals as well as folks outside the cisnormative narrative
  • Genderqueer – Does not fall in the binary; could be neither, both, or a variation of masculine and feminine identities
  • Greygender – Identifying (at least partially) outside of the gender binary.Has a strong ambivalence about their gender identity and/or expression
  • Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – A form of hormone therapy used to regulate hormones, heighten hormone levels the body isn’t naturally producing. Commonly used for transgender folks and menopause
  • Intersex – Having genitals appearance that exist outside of the societal binary of a penis or vulva, and/or chromosomes outside of the XX/XY binary. Intersex is not a gender. We chose to include it here to acknowledge intersex folks being included in many of the pride flags.
  • Maverique – An identity that is the present feeling of a gender completely independent from male, female, neutral, etc.
  • Masculine-presenting – “Traditionally” masculine appearance
  • Neutrois – Neutral gender identity
  • Nonbinary – A spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. Gender outside the binary
  • Novigender – Gender expression that is complicated in such a way that it is difficult or impossible to fit into one word or term
  • Outing – The act of disclosing and LGBTQIA+ person’s sexual orientation or gender identity
  • “Passing” – Being perceived as the gender one identifies with. This is based on traditional gender roles and expectations
  • Pronouns – The pronouns that should be used for an individual. he/him, she/her, they/them, xe/xer, ze/hir, etc. Neopronouns are valid pronouns!
  • Polygender – Experiencing multiple gender identities
  • Queer – Umbrella term and identity for non-cisgender/non-heterosexual folks
  • Sex – Male, female, intersex. Different than gender. This is assigned based on the appearance of a newborn’s genital configuration. Sex also involves chromosomes and internal reproductive organs.
  • Sex Assigned At Birth (SAAB) – What was assigned to a person after a doctor/doula/midwife looked between the newborn’s legs and declared their identity based on the appearance of their genitals
  • Social Dysphoria – Feeling uncomfortable being referred to as one’s birth sex
  • Stealth – “Passing” as their gender identity at all times, broken contact with everyone who knows their history
  • Third Gender – Identifying as neither man nor woman, but a but a separate gender entirely
  • Top Surgery – Gender affirming surgery performed on one’s chest
  • Trans Feminine / Transemme / Transfem – A transgender identity referring to behaviors and appearance associated with femininity
  • Transman – A man who was assigned something else at birth
  • Trans Masculine / Transmasc – A transgender identity referring to behaviors and appearance associated with masculinity
  • Transwoman – A woman who was assigned something else at birth
  • Transerasure – The tendency to ignore, deny, and minimize the existence of transgender folks
  • Transgender – Identifying as something other than what one was assigned at birth
  • Transition(ing) – In the process of identifying with one’s gender identity
  • Transphobia – Prejudice or discrimination of transgender folks
  • Two-Spirit – Someone who identifies as having both a masculine and a feminine spirit. Common in indigenous culture
Romantic & Sexual Orientation Terms
  • Ace Of Hearts – Alloromantic asexual
  • Ace Of Spades – Aromantic asexual
  • Ace Of Clubs – Grey-romantic asexual
  • Ace Of Diamonds – Demiromantic asexual
  • Akioromantic – Feelings of romantic attraction, but attraction fade when reciprocated
  • Akiosexual – Feelings of sexual attraction, but attraction fades when reciprocated
  • Alloromantic – A person who experiences romantic attraction
  • Allosexual – A person who experiences sexual attraction
  • Androsexual – Attracted to masculinity
  • Aromantic / Aro – Not having romantic attraction
  • Asexual / Ace – Not having sexual attraction
  • Autochoriasexual – Asexual folks who experience a disconnect between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal. Sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lack the desire to participate in sexual activities
  • Bicurious – Heterosexuals who are curious about having same sex sexual experiences
  • Bierasure – The tendency to ignore, deny, and minimize the existence of bisexual folks
  • Biphobia – Prejudice or discrimination of bisexual folks
  • Biromantic – Romantic attraction to two or more genders
  • Bisexual – Sexual attraction to two or more genders
  • Cishet – Shorthand for cisgender heterosexuals
  • Closeted – Their identity is private
  • Coming Out – Sharing their identity with their loved ones
  • Cupioromantic – Does not experience romantic attraction, but desires romantic relationships
  • Cupiosexual – Does not experience sexual attraction, but desires sexual relationships
  • Cryptoromantic – A term for romantic orientation for folks that do not yet have term for in English vocabulary
  • Cryptosexual – A term for sexual orientation for folks that do not yet have term for in English vocabulary
  • Demiromantic – Not experiencing primary romantic attraction
  • Demisexual – Not experiencing primary sexual attraction
  • Down Low (DL) – Keeping an experience or relationship between the involved parties only
  • Diverse Sexuality and Gender (DSG) – An inclusive term for LGBTQ+, without labeling specifics
  • Fluid(ity) – Experiencing changes in one’s sexuality. Sexual attraction/orientation varies
  • Gay – A term for men, nonbinary, and transmasculine who are attracted to men. A term for folks who are attracted to others of the same gender. A term used by many non-hetero folks as a simplistic explanation
  • Grey Asexual / Grey Ace / GrAce – Spectrum between asexuality and sexuality
  • Gender & Sexuality Expansive (GSE) – An inclusive term for LGBTQ+, without labeling specifics
  • Gynesexual – Sexual attraction to femininity
  • Gynosexual – Sexual attraction to women
  • Heteroflexible – Mostly heterosexual, with occasional homosexual attraction
  • Heteronormative – The assumption that everyone will be attracted to the gender assigned at birth that does not match theirs; typically follows cisnormativity
  • Heteroromantic – Romantic attraction toward “opposite” gender
  • Heterosexism – Prejudice or descrimination against non-heterosexuals
  • Heterosexual – Sexual attraction toward the “opposite” sex
  • Homoflexible – Mostly homosexual, with occasional heterosexual attraction
  • Homophobia – Prejudice or descrimination of homosexual folks
  • Homoromantic – Romantic attraction to the same sex as oneself
  • Homosexual – Sexual attraction to the same sex as oneself
  • Lesbian – A term for women, nonbinary, or transfeminine person who are attracted to women. A term for folks who are attracted to others of the same gender.
  • LGBT / LGBTQ / LGBTQIAP2S+ – Specific abbreviations for the DSG (Diverse Sexuality and Gender) or the GSE (Gender & Sexuality Expansive). Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer/questioning, intersex, asexual, pansexual, two-spirit, etc.
  • Lithromantic – Experiencing romantic attraction with no desire to have the feelings reciprocated or the desire to act on it
  • Lithsexual – Experiencing sexual attraction with no desire to have the feelings reciprocated or the desire to act on it
  • Monoromantic – Romantic attraction towards one gender only
  • Monosexual – Sexual attraction toward one gender only
  • Omniromantic – Romantic attraction regardless of their gender
  • Omnisexual – Sexual attraction regardless of their gender
  • Outing – The act of disclosing an LGBTQ+ person’s sexual orientation or gender identity
  • Panromantic – Romantic attraction in which gender does not play a role in the attraction
  • Pansexual – Sexual attraction in which gender does not play a role in the attraction
  • Perioriented – When one’s sexual and romantic orientations are aligned
  • Polyromantic – Romantic attraction toward many genders
  • Polysexual – Sexual attraction toward many genders
  • Pomoromantic– Denying, avoiding, or not fitting in any romantic orientation. Not the same as aromantic, panromantic, or biromantic
  • Pomosexual – Denying, avoiding, or not fitting in any sexual orientation. Not the same as asexual, pansexual, or bisexual
  • Queer People of Color (QPOC) – Exactly as the term suggests; folks who are both queer and People of Color
  • Queer and Trans People of Color (QTPOC) – Exactly as the term suggests; folks who are both queer, trans, and People of Color
  • Queer – Umbrella term and identity for non-cisgender/non-heterosexual folks
  • Questioning – Undecided, undeclared, unsure about one’s sexual orientation, sexual identity, gender, or all three
  • Skolioromantic – Romantic attraction to folks outside the gender binary
  • Skoliosexual – Sexual attraction to folks outside the gender binary
  • Straight – Heterosexual. Attraction toward a different gender than one’s own. Typically follows the gender binary
  • Varioriented – When one’s sexual and romantic orientations do not match
Relationship Styles & Dynamics
  • Aesthetic Attraction – Attraction based on appearance
  • Allonormativity – The assumption that everyone will be interested in sexual relationships
  • Alterous Attraction – Attraction that is neither platonic or romantic
  • Amatonormativity – The assumption that everyone will be interested in romantic relationships
  • Asexual Relationship – A relationship that is not sexual
  • Casual Sex – Sexual activity between two or more people who are not in an established relationship
  • Closed Swinging – Sexual activity outside of the relationship, but limited within a certain group
  • Co-Husband – Partner’s other husband
  • Co-Spouse – Partner’s other spouse
  • Co-Wife – Partner’s other wife
  • Cohabitate – Living together, not necessarily sharing a bed
  • Comet – A partner who is around occasionally
  • Compersion – Feelings of joy and excitement for your partner’s other relationship excitement
  • Constellation – Map of who is in a relationship with who, and how that is linked to oneself
  • Couple Privilege – The expectation that an established couple comes before other relationships and partners, no matter what
  • Cowboy/cowgirl/cowperson – A scapegoating and gaslighting term used to blame a monogamous person for the choice their non-monogamous partners makes to end other relationships  in order to manage the feelings of the monogamous person.
  • Crushing – Having feelings of attraction toward another person
  • Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) – Partners can do as they please, but do not tell each other unless specifically asked about. Often used as a way to keep a relationship when one party wants nonmonogamy, and another does not
  • Datemate – A person one goes on dates with, without a relationship being established
  • DTR – Define the relationship
  • Dom/sub – A consensual, negotiated relationship in which one person has a dominant role and the other has a submissive role
  • Domestic Group – A group of people who live together and practice joint control over the household and group property. This is not exclusive to being related by birth or marriage
  • Dyad – A relationship between two individuals
  • Egalitarian – A polyamorous relationship in which no partner has priority
  • Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) – A consensual agreement to have other relationships; romantic, sexual, etc.
  • Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) – Anxiety that there is something exciting or interesting that may happen without you. Anxiety that others will have fun that you aren’t invited to participate in
  • Free Agent – A person who practices polyamory in a way that separates or isolates their relationships from each other, treating them as separate entities. Behaves as “single”, and never discusses other relationships with partners
  • Fuck Buddies – Two people who only have a sexual relationship
  • Friends With Benefits (FWB) – Friends who also have a sexual relationship
  • Hierarchy – The polyamorous practice that places one relationship or partner as a priority or more important than others
  • “Just Dating” – Undefined relationship but acknowledges going on dates together
  • Key Party – A party in which a group of married couples show up together, and the husbands place their keys in a bowl. The wives blindly pick a set of keys, and that is the man they go home with, with the expectation the two with engage in sexual activity
  • Kitchen Table Polyamory – Polycules where everyone would be comfortable sitting around the dining table together
  • Life Partner – A partner who is regarded as a permanent relationship
  • LDR – Long Distance Relationship
  • LTR – Long-Term Relationship
  • Metamour – Partner’s other partner
  • Mono / Poly – One partner is monogamous, while the other partner is polyamorous
  • Monoamory – The interest or act of dating one person at a time
  • Monogamish – Mostly monogamous relationship, with occasional exceptions
  • Monogamy – The practice of having one romantic and sexual partner at a time
  • Most Significant Other (MSO) – Placing one partner as more important that others
  • N – A polyamorous relationship formation, each point symbolizes a relationship
  • Nesting Partner – The partner one shares a “nest” with
  • No Romo – Shorthand for no romance. Preference of platonic relationships only
  • Non-Hierarchical – Practicing polyamory, without placing one partner above others
  • New Relationship Energy (NRE) – The excitement and giddy feelings that come with the development of a new relationship
  • Open Marriage – An umbrella term for ENM marriages
  • Open Network – A polycule that is open to new relationships
  • Open Relationship – An umbrella term for ENM relationships
  • Open Swinging – Having open sexual experiences outside of a relationship
  • One Penis Policy (OPP) – A rule that a woman in a nonmonogamous relationship is only allowed to have sex with one penis
  • Old Relationship Energy (ORE) – The feelings of comfort and commitment that comes in an LTR
  • Other Significant Other (OSO) – A partner’s other partner
  • Parallel Polyamory – The practice of polyamory in which the metamours never met or interact
  • Paramour – One’s partner
  • Partner – Someone one is in a relationship with. Gender and relationship neutral
  • Partner Swapping / Wife Swapping – Having sexual encounters after trading partners
  • Pivot / Hinge – The person in a polyamorous relationship with two or more partners.
  • Platonic Attraction – Desire to have a friendship with someone
  • Platonic Relationship – A non-sexual, non-romantic relationship
  • Polyamory – The act of consensually having multiple partners at the same time
  • Polyandry – Having multiple husbands
  • Polycule – Map of who is in a relationship with who, and how that is linked to oneself
  • Polyfi / Polyfidelity – A closed polycule
  • Polygamy – Having more than one spouse. Gender neutral or umbrella term for polygyny and polyandry
  • Polygyny – Having more than one wife
  • Polysaturated – Reaching the ideal amount of partners
  • Polywog – The children within a polycule
  • POP – Partner’s Other Partner
  • Primary Partner – Partner in a hierarchy polyamorous relationship
  • Queer Platonic Partner (QPP) – A spectrum between “just” friends and a romantic partner
  • Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR) – A spectrum between a friendship and a romantic relationship
  • Quad – Four person relationship
  • Relationship Anarchy – A form of non-hierarchical polyamory, in which no relationship; partner, friend, child, etc. is viewed as better, worse, or a default priority. The priority comes as a situation of needs
  • Relationship Escalator – The societal ideals of how relationships develop
  • Satellite Partner – A partner one sees at regular intervals, often once a year
  • Scarcity vs. Abundance Model – Scarcity = using up the love and space in one’s heart. Abundance = having and making space for everyone who is important in one’s life
  • Secondary Partner – A partner who is not priority, in a hierarchical model
  • Sensual Attraction – Desire for tactile interactions that are non-sexual
  • Serial Monogamy – Having one monogamous relationship after the other
  • Significant Other (SO) – A partner
  • Soft Swinger – A form of swinging that restricts PIV intercourse
  • Solo Poly – A polyamorous person who plays the “free agent” role, may want minimal commitment
  • Spice – Plural of spouse
  • Squish – A platonic attraction toward another
  • Swolly – One who identifies as both a swinger and polyamorous
  • Tertiary Partner – Another term for secondary partner
  • TOCOTOX – Too Complicated to Explain
  • Triad – A relationship of three people
  • Tribe – Polyamorous family; polycule, friends, etc.
  • Throuple – A “couple” made of three people
  • Unicorn Hunting – The act of seeking a bisexual woman to fit the needs of an established couple (different from an organic triad)
  • V/Vee – A polyamorous relationship formation, one person dating two people
  • Veto – The act of controlling or eliminating someone else’s relationship
  • Veto-Power – Having the power to eliminate another person’s relationship
  • Wibble – A temporary feeling of insecurity, often when one’s partner starts a new relationship, or when meeting a metamour for the first time
  • Zucchini – A queer platonic partner. There are many variations and different fruits and vegetables used in place

This list is expansive, but not complete. We’ll keep working to update this list as language continues to evolve. 

Navigating Care As An LGBTQIA+ Person

Unfortunately the health care (medical and mental alike) are still holding onto many of the -isms and phobias. Alphabet Soup LLC is working or various courses to help providers. This page is for clients and patients seeking affirming care, and learning to advocate for themself.

There is not always safety to be out, and we want to recognize and honor that first and foremost.

In order to truly get the full care you deserve, it is important to be honest with your provider team. This helps to get the appropriate care and adequate risk assessments. Affirming language can be gained by being honest and out with your providers. We stand by the fact that all providers should be using neutral language for pronouns and orientation as the default, and switch once the client or patient confirms or corrects them. Even better, they should have these relevant things on their intake forms. 

  • Doctors need to know (but only what is relevant to the care you are seeking):
    • the types of sex you are having
    • what barriers are being used
    • when barriers are being used (for what activities)
    • if you are being abused
    • if you are in a BDSM or kink relationship
    • any health concerns
  • Therapists need to know (but only what is relevant to the care you are seeking):
    • if you are being abused
    • if you are in a BDSM or kink relationship
    • any mental health concerns

Providers should be creating the safety for you to be honest about these topics. Providers should inquire what your labels and pronouns, and respect them. Offering these things can help create the safety with your provider.

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